Friday, September 24, 2004
Happening Number One: crazy bifters UKIP are off to a flying start in the Parliament. Godfrey "Get Back Into The Kitchen, Woman!" Bloom has been all over the in-house press for his boozy antics. Apparently, bald-headed Mr Bloom was entirely spiflicated in a Strasbourg bar and attempted to open a can of whoop-ass on a Labour MEP for the alleged crime of nearly spilling his pint by trying trip him up by the bar. Sources report that Mr Bloom had to be restrained by UKIP group leader Nigel Farage. Still, good effort all round. It's a delight to see the British Right taking a stand against socialists and their evil tripping ways.
Happening Number Two: a fad for tasteless jokes amongst certain stagieres. Best offering so far: "What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit".
Happening Number Three: Fat Boy's Chilli. Fat Boy's is not a tribute to the sexual tastes of a chubby-chaser. It is a sports bar on the Place Luxembourg - the lunchtime / post-work Mecca for many European Parliament employees. Amongst many different types of beer, they serve chilli. Eat a bowl and for three subsequent days you will need to remain within fifty metres of a toilet. It's bloody marvellous.